


What?

by PatPrecieux



Series: Questions [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e01 The Six Thatchers, Gen, Introspection, POV Sherlock Holmes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9186665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: Sherlock's question is What?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A follow-up to my post "Why?"
> 
> John is not the only victim of his own thoughts.

Sherlock has come back from the dry cleaners. His Belstaff will be restored to pristine condition once the blood stains are removed. Mary Watson's blood. Nothing can restore what remains of his universe, however, now that a black hole is in its' midst. 

No case, no experiment, no distraction can take him from a word that refuses to leave him alone.

What? What were Mummy and Daddy thinking bringing another child into the world when they had the perfect son in Mycroft. What was he, William, an accident?

What? What was he to do when Mycroft abandoned him for University? What was left?

What? What cruel hoax was it to be given Redbeard to love, only to have him taken away?

What? What was school to be in his youth? What purpose did it serve other than to brand him a freak?

What? What had persuaded him drugs was the answer? 

What? What irony was it that a passion for crime solving replaced the need for drugs with yet another addiction?

What? What brought him to associations with Lestrade, Stamford, Hooper, none of whom were his equal in any way?

What? What had made him even consider living with anyone?

What? What cosmic joke was it that brought him to Bart's that day only to leave a total stranger with an address and a wink?

What? What had Baker Street and Mrs.Hudson done to him to cause him to not only accept, but embrace domesticity?

What? What kind of magical creature was this army doctor who could actually inspire him to what in "normal" people would be called feelings?

What? What could drive his rational mind to the insanity that was the "fall" and its' aftermath?

What? What could make him believe things would be the same when he returned?

What? What was the point of weddings, friendships, vows?

What? What about a tiny baby changes everything?

What? What skewed logic led three adults to the conclusion that NOTHING had changed?

What? What had possessed him to taunt an unstable woman with a gun?

What? What had motivated a new mother to put his life ahead of her own?

What? What facts was he to share with a therapist about what was happening to him when he really didn't understand it himself?

What? What is to be done with the knowledge that his friend abhors him above all others?

What? What now, from this moment on, will I do knowing that having lost my blogger, I am lost?

What? What path must I tread to find a place where my longing, my grief, my love will not follow me?

What? What can the "great" Sherlock Holmes do to protect the greatest single gift I have ever been given?

What? What clue, deduction, or course of action will grant me the power to save John Watson when I am unsure if I can even save myself? What?

**Author's Note:**

> We see how profoundly affected Sherlock is by what has happened. 
> 
> But we need to know "What" he is thinking to see Sherlock Holmes as just another human man.


End file.
